Every Mommy Needs a Daddy Sometimes

So after yet another night of four feedings I groggily and reluctantly woke up before the sunrise because Baby H said so. I went down, popped a T-Disc in the machine and cried to myself a little bit. I miss my friend Sleep so much, although I somehow don’t feel it so much during the day. I miss it in the throes of lacking it, when J is fast asleep and snoring.

I came back upstairs to where my little wiggle monster was, well, wiggling around in his bassinet. I flipped on the TV to find a familiar scene unfolding.

Screen shot 2013-02-15 at 7.43.01 AM

As a pregnant lady watching this movie last summer I definitely related most to the Elizabeth Banks character. Despite people telling me that I had ‘that glow’, I did not have that glow. It was just sweat. Buckets and buckets of sweat. To be fair, it was the hottest summer on record and I had no air conditioning, but still. I spent the last months of my pregnancy flopping around on the couch feeling like I’d never be comfortable ever again.

So, given this information, and the fact that I have clearly forgotten it, why on earth do I feel twinges of envy as friend after friend announces their summer babies on the way and posts adorable belly bump pictures? They are still small enough that they really are glowing and lovely. Maybe that’s why. Maybe if they were posting pictures of themselves looking like beached whales or Violet Beauregarde post-blueberry incident I might not feel that little bit of envy.

Two days before the birth of H... see the resemblance?

Two days before the birth of H… see the resemblance?

Why on earth would I miss being pregnant? Besides being huge and uncomfortable, I was a sleep deprived hormonal nightmare. I haven’t slept since August! I have no sleep in the foreseeable future. And while I don’t begrudge J his sleep (ok, I do begrudge him just a smidgen of sleep), I have in fact, as Amy at Pregnant Chicken (<- Pregnant women, click that link. You’ll thank me later.) warned, stared at his sleeping, peaceful face at 2am and wondered what the hell the point of him is. In those sleepless 2am moments, especially post-baby, as I stumble around blearily trying to figure out if the baby needs to be changed, nursed, or both, I think of J simply as “the sperm donor” and feel like he couldn’t possibly be the father because he clearly abandons me in every 2am moment of need. If only the men had the boobs… (ok, no. I love breastfeeding and wouldn’t give it up for any amount of uninterrupted sleep, and that’s the truth!).

Sperm Donor

Ok, to the point. On those nights I don’t really feel abandoned. That’s the deal. He needs to get up at 5am to work every day, and he operates heavy machinery. I’d be a pretty horrible person if I expected him to share in the sleepless nights. However, despite my supermom status, I must admit that sometimes I need him. And so does the baby. The other night, I was having a moment (or several). For the life of me, I could not get little H to sleep. He’s normally really easy to put to bed! Nurse him or pop a soother in and he’s fast asleep in 5. This night, though, I felt like my baby had been replaced by a banshee. He screamed until he was purple in the face, tears streaming from his eyes. I tried everything but he could not be consoled. This is how J found us upon arriving home from work at 10pm (where he’d been since 6am). I fully anticipated that he’d disappear into the basement or to bed and leave me to deal with the shit show we’d created. Instead I was pleasantly surprised. He came into the room and started talking to the screaming, writhing mass that I suspected was the baby but was no longer sure. My head was throbbing and I couldn’t think clearly. All of a sudden there was silence as H listened to his daddy’s voice. There was still some pouting and gasping going on, so J picked up the baby and off they went to play in front of the mirror and have a little chat. An hour later a perfectly calm little angel child was returned to me and we fell asleep side by side, which is where J found us 6 hours later at 5am. It was a miracle.

So you see girls, there is a point to him. If you’re tempted in those last days of pregnancy or early days of baby to stab him with a fork as he lies there sleeping like an angel (or snoring like at trucker), hold off. Think about it for a few days to make sure its what you really want to do. You might end up regretting it because even though it may not seem like it during those sleepless nights, every mommy needs a daddy sometimes.

S and J

14 responses to “Every Mommy Needs a Daddy Sometimes

  1. This is BEYOND true. All of it. I HATE being awake while Husbandio is snoring, but he makes up for it when he puts on his Daddy Pants. I don’t know how single moms do it – can you imagine NEVER getting to pass off the baby? Ever? It’s amazing to me that people do that and don’t end up in jail.

    • I seriously can’t imagine… I often claim that I’m a single mom due to the fact that J is never home, but at the end if the day the help I have is better than nothing! Especially now that H is a bit more sturdy and J doesn’t seem as scared of him as he did when he was brand brand new. Single moms are amazing.

  2. Oh how I love passing Henry on to Chris on Saturday mornings while I go back to bed. Makes the rest of the week tolerable. I hope it gets better for you soon!

  3. GREAT. STORY. I love good-daddy anecdotes! And am I to understand that you got 6 hours of sleep in a row?? YAY!

    • Ah… sadly I did not :( H slept (nursed a couple of times still half asleep) but if I moved away from his body he’d wake, so I had to stay pressed against him which made me far to paranoid to completely surrender to sleep :(

      I love those moments where I can see the love and caring between my baby and his daddy. Gives me the warm and fuzzies.

  4. In our case sometimes a Mommy needs a Mama. I have been saved from the Incredible Screaming Sprog on more than one occasion.

    I have no idea how single parents cope.

    • I don’t know what I’d do without my Mama! Seriously.

      • Fabulous Mommy

        Our boys have a Mommy (me) and a Mama (my wife). No Daddy.

        Although I don’t know what I would do without my in-laws either. We have the best grandparents for our boys.

      • Haha. My brain automatically goes I MY Mama when I hear Mama. I know it’s not necessarily the case, but sometimes I think having a woman for a partner would make child-rearing easier! But in reality I know that same sex relationships have the same kind of learning curve… a girl can dream though!

      • Fabulous Mommy

        Sheesh it was a very steep learning curve. I’m glad we are past the first 6 month. I found it very hard. Now parenting is awesome!

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