I have never been tidy. Most of my parent/child battles were over picking up after myself. It was typical to go for weeks without seeing my bedroom floor. Who needs carpet when you can make your own carpet out of My Little Ponies and a million discarded outfits? Pre-pregnancy my idea of a kitchen dance party was getting drunk in my best friend’s kitchen/living/dining/office room thing (hey, at least she owns a condo, ok?) and shouting the lyrics of Firework to each other across the room (which basically means in each others faces… have you seen what an affordable middle class condo in Toronto looks like these days? It’s ridiculous. I’ve been watching old episodes of Property Virgins and its ridiculous how far 300K went even just 10 years ago).
S: “Do you ever feel”
R:”LIKE A PLASTIC BAG!”
Lately I have felt like a plastic bag… full of groceries, for everyone but me. Seriously. If I’m not looking after the kid I’m making dinner or cleaning something, and lets face it, time for that is scarce with a baby. I spend most of my day making funny faces and sounds in order to keep my spawn entertained (ok, it’s entertaining for me too). Right now he’s napping and I have so much housework to do. How the hell did I end up a stay at home mom? Sometimes I want to be like Jenna Marbles and just sit in front of my webcam, hold my Master’s Degree in my arms, and cry.
Except it should say “Before I clean my kitchen”
Who am I? Seriously. I SUCK at taking care of a house. It’s pathetic. If I had been the CEO of RIM (or Blackberry, as it is now called) I would have saved that sinking ship long before Wednesday’s announcement of the Blackberry 10 (jury’s still out, Blackberry). I could have built a Titanic that was structurally sound. I can move any kind of mountain… unless its made of laundry. In that case I’d be more inclined to lie on top of it and read a good book. Yeah…
So that’s how the Blackberry 10 finally happened
Hard to believe that I’ve been a stay at home mom for 3 months now. Yup. That’s right. Baby H is three months old today! That means he’s officially an infant and no longer a newborn (*sniff*). He’s getting so big! It’s like he changes before my eyes every day.
So, how can I make this new gig mine and stop this house from being condemned? Recreate the kitchen drunk dance party! Cuz baby I’m a firework! Or I could just set off some fireworks inside and get the house condemned so that I can move into a one bedroom condo. Crazy you say? I say there is much less to clean in a one bedroom shoebox than a three story three bedroom house!
Instead I listened to Firework on repeat because for some reason it reminds me that I’m still me (even if I’m alone and sober… and despite the fact that Katy Perry’s tits have never been kicked out of a Walmart) and baked cupcakes.
I let my colours burst all over these cupcakes, baby!
I might suck at cleaning, but I’m original, cannot be replaced. Also, I do own the night like… Canada Day Night… yeah.
P.S. For the record, I’m doing a pretty freaking good job for someone who might have failed home economics had it been offered at my school.
P.P.S. I was kidding about the whole drunk party thing. I haven’t been drunk since… last February. You do the math.
P.P.P.S. Cupcake?
Sad but true: no parent can ever believe how fast their baby gets big. (I can’t either.) He’s pretty gorgeous, though! Kissy cheeks!! BTW, you must know about Drunk Kitchen? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq7G-Q9ZwC0
I’m SO with you on the I can do anything but clean my own house feeling. A shoebox doesn’t make it any better. It just makes it look durty faster. Hugs to you and your spawn!
Housework is horribly boring and unfulfilling. I’ve been a mom for 10.5 years now–and I’ve gone through bursts of attempting to find joy and purpose in a clean kitchen floor or bathroom, but you know what? It ain’t there to be found, not for me. It just gets dirty again… But to take a twist on your kitchen dance party: I entertain purely in order to get the house cleaned up. When it reaches that certain level of chaos and uck that’s too much even for me–I throw a party. A little party, a big party, a potluck–a couple of friends over for wine and chocolate–whatever. An event that galvanizes me into getting the bathroom, kitchen and entryway looking respectable. And afterwards… entropy takes over again. :)
Unfortuantely, I can’t think of anything clever to say..maybe I should pour a drink and then re-comment. lol. Good post, it was enjoyable!